Chiffon Rose

Friday...

What have I done today???...Well I went to see my Friday friend who is helping me through what I will now refer to as this 'awful' time (for want of a better word!).  I went in with a heavy heart and came out inspired to look ahead and make plans for the future.  Look at my dreams and ways to make them into a reality.  Give myself something to look forward to.  He asked me how I see my future and what I want for it.  I said I want a dog!  I think he imagined small, fluffy, cute so when I told him I wanted a Rhodesian Ridgeback, I think he was just a little surprised!! 

I also said I would like a new car...a small 4wd so I can go on camping holidays and have some fun.  And when I have to move house, I would like a little old home I can play with and a backyard for my dog and my daughter's trampoline and a small above-ground pool!  Just simple...that's all I want.  It's amazing how when you go through 'awful' times your needs and wants become so much more simplified.  I love that and I am looking forward to that.

After I left there I went and bought myself this hot pink camping chair to sit on at Chloe's softball games.  (I wasn't sure about the colour but I am a girl after all, and if I can't have pink, then who can?)  Last week was the first week and I desperately wished after 2 hours that I had a chair!!! 

Then, because I will be at home alone tonight, I went and bought some dvd's on special at BigW.  Chocolat (Johnny Depp...does he really need any explanation!), The English Patient (because it came with Chocolat), Saving Grace (never heard of it before but it looked funny and it wasn't until I got home that I read the back and realised it's about growing cannibas! LOL, silly me), Emma (have seen it before and loved it!) and Walk the Line (love Reese Witherspoon and I heard that it was good!)...So tonight I am going to watch Johnny Depp, oops sorry I meant Chocolat, with my violet crumble chocolate bar and maybe my crochet (sound like grandma), maybe light some scented candles, mmm...I tell you I cannot wait!  I have a dreaded cold with a sore throat so I am really looking forward to tonight so, so much!

The weather is absolutely gorgeous today too...sunny and warm with a slight, cool breeze, just perfect!  This is why I love autumn so much.  And I have just downed a gorgeous hot cinnamon chocolate drink, yummm!

Thank you for reading my ramblings. I love sharing with you all and love that you offer such thoughtful, funny, inspiring, wonderful comments.  I hope you have a great weekend...and also find some time for you!

Nel xo

p.s.  update...I didn't get this posted last night and have just got home from softball with my bright pink chair...WHAT WAS I THINKING???  I was so embarrassed, everyone looked.  I felt like Elle Woods on Legally Blonde at her first day at Harvard...but not quite so confident...but I walked tall and sat in my chair, but inside I was thinking I wish I had just bought navy or green like everyone else!  But I have pink, and pink I will keep and use, and ignore the giggles that are sent my way, lol!

new site and WIP's

Lots to share today...but I promise to do it with as few words as possible!! 

I have started another blog, Driftwood and Roses.  It is purely for posting finished items.  So hop on over and take a look, I think it should be self explanatory...and let me know what you think!

I wanted to show you this again, to show you I have made some progress and will hopefully have the finished product soon!  This is the fruit one, I haven't start on the other one yet...

The picture is a little blurry, sorry, the one below of a close up is alot clearer.  The bird is going on the top and I will decorate around it.  I haven't finished painting yet so there is still a little work left to do.

A little while ago I told you I was working on my study...well here is a progress report, in picture...

The nightie on the fluffy hanger was my mother's (she is still around!).  She gave it to me a little while ago with some other gorgeous handmade nightwear, made by her when she first got married.  I love it hanging on my wall, it's so pretty and feminine, and it's made by my Mum.  The rest are things I have picked up along the way or been given to me.  It's amazing how when you buy things you like, no matter if they are all from different places, when they come together they all work because you love them all and realise you have created a 'look' that is you.

It's only one corner, but it's a a start.  I have a large blank wall opposite that I want to make a mood board for...next project!

Well I hope you're all having a great day/night, whatever the case may be.  Will be dropping by to check out all your lovely blogs over the next couple of days.  Can't wait!!

I always like to try and leave you with something inspiring...

"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral".   Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Run with your dreams, no-one's going to do it for you!

Love Nel xo

full speed ahead...

I just can't seem to stop lately...I have been on a creative bender for a couple of weeks now and I have to say I am loving it!  It is also helping me keep sane...and it stops me from sleeping all day, a rather attractive option at the moment...but definitely not a healthy one.

I have to say this is a work in progress (wip).  The poem is the one Barbara shared here and I loved it and asked if her friend minded me putting it into something creative and he said go ahead.  I will show you when it is finished but here is a glimpse for now...

I painted over the writing with good old raw umber but it came out too dark...I am going to re-do the writing and stain it with tea instead...I think that will give it more of the look I am after.  The rose ribbon isn't part of it but I just thought I'd share with you where I got the name Chiffon Rose from.  I found this ribbon shopping one day and loved it...when I got it home I was looking at it and the name Chiffon Rose came to mind and it just grew from there.  It's so delicate and pretty and I love that it's a little ragged around the edges...stops it looking too perfect!

I had the name made up in wooden letters and it sits in my study on top of my ikea bookcase for inspiration.  (I have shown this before but in case you forgot!)

My next wip is this...and believe me when I say it is the very basic beginnings, of what I'm not sure yet!! LOL...  But that's part of the fun, not knowing where it will end.

I have sooo many things going at once at the moment and so many more in my mind that I want to do.  I have some furniture that I want to re-do, one being the little old table my computer sits on.  But I don't want to start anything else yet until I finish what I have already started otherwise I will be fully overwhelmed, and at the moment, it's fun!

I'll leave you with this...

"When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope” 

Henri Nouwen

Have a wonderful Monday and thanks for dropping by.

Nel xo

ribbons and bows...

The local craft shop had a sale on ribbons this week...so of course I had to have a look!

I came home with this assortment.  I didn't really have any black ribbon and I love these.  Ric rac and gingham are always a fave and I love the stripe.  It's a little hard to see the colours but I love it.  I had seen the stars before and love the purple and lace ribbons so I decided to buy them while they were on sale...Thrifty little thing that I am!!  And of course no trip is complete without a few more buttons...

I have also been thinking about taking up crochet again...so when I went to meet a friend for lunch this week and saw a wool shop across the road, I took the plunge and went on in...This is what I have done so far...

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them yet but I'm happy that after 20 years, I remembered what to do!  I was thinking of making some cushions???  I love the blue wool...it has long ribbony pieces so when it's made up it's all long and fluffy and the colour is just gorgeous...

I also received a little surprise birthday gift from my eldest daughter's friend Lizzy...

Isn't it just beautiful...I love butterflies and I love that it says "celebrate each day". 

It was such a surprise to receive this gift and sometimes I think gifts from unexpected places are the nicest ones of all!

I'm still on the rollercoaster ride that is my life at the moment...some days are good and some are just awful.  The funny thing is I have been more creative in this process...it's like I'm looking for the good things that are coming from within and going back to the passions that I had long ago locked away or forgotten.  It's also very therapeutic and it's nice to be able to see something good come from this.  I don't really know how else to explain it, but I'm just doing it...

Thank you for all your comments lately...I have had so many visitors and never thought I would have so many new blogging friends.  I love you dropping by and your encouragement is so thoughtful and appreciated. 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Nel xo

                                                         

choices...

One of the greatest feelings in life is the conviction that you have lived the life you wanted to live…with the rough and the smooth, the good and the bad…but yours, shaped by your own choices, and not someone else’s.”

Michael Ignatieff

 

                                         

Where do your choices take you? 

Nel xo                                                                     

birthday greetings...

I turned 42 yesterday...I'm sure it was only yesterday I turned 30? 

I have been so incredibly blessed this weekend...it has been amazing!  So stay with me, there's alot to share :-)

I received an e-mail from Barbara asking me to check out a poem she posted on her blog.  She so generously shared that she had thought of me when posting it, and so I checked it out.  Isn't it amazing that even when someone doesn't know the details of what you are walking through, God uses them to bless you so much!  It's a wonderful poem and spoke to me right where I'm at.  Thank you Barbara for sharing the journey. 

Saturday morning I went with Beck to a women's conference in Sydney.  It is an annual conference called Colour and is run by Hillsong Church.  My friend Debbie and her daughter generously offered us their two tickets for the morning session.

I have a link in my sidebar for Watoto.  Check it out.  The woman who started Watoto with her husband was the guest speaker on Saturday morning at the conference.  Marilyn Skinner is one of the most amazing women I have ever had the privelege of listening to.   Marilyn and her husband started a church in Kampala, Uganda that is attended by thousands and they also build houses to provide homes to children whose parents have died of aids and are living on the street.  This is called Watoto!  They provide one house mother to every eight children and adopt them as their own.  Her story is challenging, inspiring, frightening and absolutey blessed by God.  If ever there was a living example of someone walking by faith, it is Marilyn!  They are now going to open a church and build houses in Northern Uganda in the middle of an area that is under seige by rebels who kidnap children and train them to do their fighting for them...they train children to kill other children...  I don't think I will ever forget the dvd footage, and I don't want to!

Courage is a word that easily rolls off the tongue but the true meaning of it is witnessed in the lives of these children who hide at night in the most disgusting places to avoid being kidnapped by the rebels as they sleep.  When Marilyn finished speaking and walked off stage, she wept...wept for those children, from emotional exhaustion because she is so passionate about sharing the story of these children and God's plan to rescue them.  I think that impacted me just as much as anything she shared.

(Invisible Children  is an organisation started by three American teenage boys who also decided to do something to help the children in this desperate, horrific situation).

It was a pretty heavy morning and as usual Hillsong church refreshed us all with a lovely little brunch box full of yummy food.  This is the gorgeous box our food came in and a photo of the front and back of a t-shirt I bought.  They do things so beautifully!

Moving along...Saturday night a wonderful friend of mine called Kylie, (who also came to Colour conference) had organised a fundraiser for Watoto.  She had hired out a movie theatre and sold tickets with the profits going to Watoto way before the Colour conference and only found out the night before that Marilyn would be speaking at the conference that morning.  She was so blessed to hear her knowing that her efforts that night were going to help those precious children.  It was a great evening and this time I went with Chloe.  We had so much fun!

Sunday I had my birthday...Chloe bought me some Calvin Klein perfume called Euphoria, it's very yummy!  She also bought me a black headband so I would stop pinching hers and Beck's, lol!  Becky bought me a lovely silver ring and had it engrave with 'I Love U'.  It is so beautiful...I love it!

These are the cards they gave me, Becky's is the cheeky one with the old lady...hmmm lol.  Chloe's is the cute one, soft and tender just like her...

                                                         

A couple of girlfriends, Fiona and Beth, took me out to lunch at this lovely gift shop/cafe.  It sells gorgeous jewellery and I am always a sucker for some jewels :-)  I got some money for my birthday so I bought this for myself.  It was sooo reasonably priced!  And that is always a bonus!

Fiona and Beth also bought me this lovely wrought iron basket.  It's shaped like a leaf and is just waiting to be filled with something wonderful.

Wow...this could be one of the longest posts I've ever done!!  I normally like to make them short and simple (?) but there was just too much to tell. 

You know, I am walking a path I'd rather not take...and it is hard to see the clearing for the forest that stands in my way.  But how blessed am I in the midst of it all to have all of this.  I'm not talking about the gifts, as gorgeous as they are, but the wonderful friends who care and two absolutely precious, gorgeous daughters who love and spoil their mum very much...and I so adore them!

Don't ever forget those around you, how much they care for you.  I have had 'friends' who appear to have turned their backs on me at this time and if I focus on them, it would hurt way too much.  But I have found that my friends that are loyal, are sooo very loyal.  And I love them for it!

Have a great day...Nel xo

Coco...

Chloe went to her first slumber party on Saturday...I bought her a new little outfit and she was sooo excited!  I asked if I could take some photos and she got all embarrassed and while she was twirling around to avoid being 'snapped' I just clicked...I think they show her beautiful personality.

She really can be quite the performer when she's not pretending to be shy!!!

She makes me smile...

Nel xo

time out...

I need to take some time out...I will drop by your blogs when I can and will be back soon, I just need to focus my attention on other things for a while...

Thank you for your words of support and encouragement lately...they mean alot!

Nel xo

grief...

I went to my art class last night...I went there with a heavy heart but needing to get out and do something.  I didn't take anything with me, I knew my teacher would have things I could do.

She had bought some new ink pens and gave them to me to play with.  One of them was like a brush almost and was so lovely to draw with.  This is what I ended up with.

It's only a portion of it and I don't really like it to be honest with you.  It was scribbled down over a period of an hour and I look at it and it represents where I'm at.  Just a mess that I can't even begin to sort out or make sense of!  (I am such a visual person!)  But it felt sooo good to put it down on paper.  And as I started drawing the lines out from the main section, with leaves on the end, I realised that out of all the mess will come new growth and with it new life.  It was very therapeutic...and something I didn't have to think about as I did it, it just happened.  I guess it's just what's in my heart.

I also realised I am grieving...I knew it anyway but I have recognised that I am right in the middle of it...and with that I have given myself permission to be sad and to take the journey that needs to be taken with that.  Anger, denial, begging God to make things better, acceptance, hope, over and over through the process and not in any given order...I am going through it all, and it sucks!

I also realised that it is normal...I have a quote written down from when I was doing my counselling grad dip.  I don't know who it's from but at the moment, it's very comforting.

"Grief is not an illness that needs to be cured, it is a normal, healthy response to loss."

So I don't need fixing, which is a relief, and I don't need advice...I just need someone to hold my hand and walk with me through it.  That is why what Renee did for me when she gave me this book meant so much to me.  I cannot tell you how much it touched my heart and how badly I want to share what is in this book with you...but it is copyright and I can't...But here is the cover.

 

It is simple, inspiring, uplifting and encouraging and so honest, and I believe it is every womans heart.   (If you are interested you can click to Renee's link and get in touch with her you can find out where to get it.)

I also love this quote from Charles Spurgeon:

"God is too wise to be mistaken.  God is too wise to be unkind.  When you can't trace His hand, that's when you must learn to trust his heart."

In the midst of grief, it is one of the hardest things to do!  I do know from experience that the heart of God is good, and He can be trusted.  I also know he has planted courage, strength and faith in my heart, and no-one can take that away!

I know this is not a 'nice' post, but I guess I'm not in a 'nice' space at the moment and if you give me time, I will come through it.  Thanks for sharing the journey.

Nel xo

girl power...

sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!...or it won't get done!  Today's show and tell is not pretty, it's not vintage and it's not dainty and girly.  But I love it anyway.

I have had these wall units for a few years now and since the renovation, well, they just don't go anymore.  So they need an upgrade...

The chickens and fruit are just not in style with my home anymore...so I am going to sand them back and paint them all white...then I might paint on a new design of my own.

The green one is used for mugs, looks great when it's full.  The others can be used for whatever I desire.  The chicken used to be for eggs and I may put them back in there and the other one was for fruit (fake, I tried real but we forgot it was in there and it went off...yuck!)  But I might use it for candles instead.

So of course I had to buy these...

Don't you just love it! 

• cordless drill
• hammer
• paint
• pliers
• stanley screw driver set
• sandpaper
• sandpaper blocks
• hanging hooks - I asked if they came in other colours, he looked at me and said it must be a girl thing! I said yeh, it is.  Unforunately, they only came in brass.  I may have to paint them too!

Everything a girl needs to have a bit of fun and do some good old decorating around the home.  I can't wait to hang pictures and all my gorgeous stuff that has been waiting around since we moved back in.  Will keep you updated and post my progress.

I also had a lovely day with Renee and Ruby yesterday...so refreshing to be with them.  Renee gave me a beautiful book called...She.  I said to her it was like someone had put my heart into words on paper.  Encouraging, uplifting, inspiring, like someone planted a rose in my heart and it is starting to bloom...Thank you Renee, you are beautiful!  And Ruby...keep dancing gorgeous, but try and get the other arm into action!

Have a lovely day...Nel xo

monday...

Going to visit Renee today...so I had to do this post in pink!  We will chat, play with Ruby and drink lots of tea!  A nice girly morning...yay!

I received these from a friend the other day...aren't they just beautiful?

And just a few pages from one of my favourite magazines...Australian Country Style.

Love the bowls, the candleabra is gorgeous with those little hearts and that amazing stairway just makes me want to explore where it leads to...   And I would love that gorgeous white sideboard in my kitchen!

Hope you have a great Monday, thought I'd leave you with this...

"The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry. And only you can fulfil the tiny space that is yours."

   --- Leo Buscaglia

Nel xo

time for fun I say!!!

In the midst of it all there has to be time for fun and inspiration!...bring it on I say!!!   Lots of photos today...hope you like them.

First of all I bought myself these, just because ;-)  I just love the colours and the pepper berry is gorgeous!   They make me feel beautiful inside when I'm feeling like I'm not .

   

A favourite photo of me and the girls when I was maid of honour at a girlfriends wedding two years ago, my hair is quite short I just realised!  The flowers were stunning.  The little book is a bit of fun...it's called "What a girl wants...love, laughter and lattes."  Yes please!  It is all on my desk in my study.  The flower is actually a pen, so pretty to write with.

 

These laces and ribbons are the colours of my bedroom.  I found these at a shop a while ago and bought them not exactly knowing where I would use them, but loving them anyway.  I also have a stack of beads in these colours...what fun I will have when I finally get round to using it all!

The little tag in the middle of the photo above, I bought from a gorgeous shop in Balmain.  They came in the tin pictured below with lots of different sizes and pictures.  So useful and add a personal touch to gifts or things around the home.  The old case I got from my neighbour when he moved, he didn't want it!  The Fabric is a roll of linen left behind by the guy we bought our home from.  Lucky me!  He also left behind, accidently, his collection of old wines.  He never got those back!

I also have this gorgeous french linen toile that my lovely friend Renee brought back from France as a gift for me when she went there last year.  I am not sure where I will use it yet...maybe some sort of wall hanging, it is huge...but it will be very special when I do because it was from Renee...via France!  The umbrella has Parisian street scenes on it.  I love using it.

Well, we are heading off to Ikea today, yay!  Chloe desperately needs a bookcase and Becky needs some sort of shelving/entertainment unit to store all her books/cd's/stereo, etc...

Oh my I don't think my bank account will be too healthy after this visit!

Have a great weekend, thanks for dropping by...Nel xo

p.s.  I just realised most of these things I bought when with Renee, or from her shop!  Perhaps she's not so good for my bank account either, lol!  But she is good for me:-)

uplifting...

I think you've all understood lately that I'm going through hard times...I am not able to share what is happenning, just too hard yet! 

I do want to say thank you!  Every morning I get out of bed and come straight down to my computer and I am absolutely lifted up and encouraged by your kind words.  It helps motivate me for the day ahead knowing I have your support.  It is a joy to wake up to your lovely comments.

It is also comforting that you haven't intruded and asked me what's going on.  Your unconditional support has made it easier for me to get through every day.  It's what I need at this time.  I will tell you that no-one is sick, I don't want you to worry.  I am o.k.  I am just so grateful for this space to express myself and be accepted for where I'm at.  Thank you so much!

This morning I was laying in bed and my youngest daughter sat in bed with me and asked me if she could read her bible to me...I nearly cried.  She asked me what to read and I asked her to read Psalm 23 and 139.  It was so beautiful.  She has a very sensitive soul and a beautiful, soft heart. 

So you see in the midst of it all, I am so blessed.  In the valley,  God provides.  I said to someone the other day that I don't mind the valley, it's where the grass grows and the river runs through.  So as long as I get to walk barefoot in the grass and squish my toes in the mud while I'm there, that's o.k.!   And I am learning my priorities well, and they are changing.

A friend just sent me a message as I'm writing this post, I want to share it with you.

"The important thing is this:  to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we would become"   Charles Dubois

Have a lovely day, I hope I can repay your kindness some day, in a good way though.  I hate to think of anyone else going through this.

Take care and God Bless,   Nel xo

Can you see her?...

Can you see her?...like a shell washed upon the shore.  Tumbled by the waves, far from home.  Lost, confused, in a daze...Thrown forth by life's circumstances.

Exposed and needing protection, out of sorts in this place she has landed.  She doesn't fit here, doesn't belong, and yet...

Can you see her?...How she has judged others in the past for walking this road.  Only now does she know and understand the depth of compassion that is needed.  Sorrow...such a hard lesson to learn.

Can you see her?...she needs to rest a while, even in this unfamiliar place.  Her family needs her...and eventually, she will find her way home again.

Nel xo